


blood in the water

by orphan_account



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Menstruation, Praise Kink, Trans Male Character, True Love, even loves isak a lot, isak has self loathing issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:17:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9078394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Isak has always hated this time of the month.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this is probably the filthiest thing I've ever written. Smut aside, I really wanted to write something about trans!Isak because it adds another layer to him denying his sexuality in canon.
> 
> Trigger warning for gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, transphobia, and implied suicidal thoughts. This is a sensitive subject so please feel free to message me if you find anything offensive and I will try to fix it.

Isak is laid out on his bed, a hot compress on his stomach, and sweaty sheets bunched between his legs. The room is dark in an attempt to beat the churning pain in his stomach but his body still burns. The only noise is the steady whirring of his old fan, sending a rush of air on to his hot face. He groans trying to pull the sheets over him when he hears his door creak open. If It’s Eskild, he swears to _god_ -

“Isak?”

“Hi.” Isak says weakly, trying to smile and failing. He lets out a sigh of relief when Even sits on the corner of the bed, his big cool hands combing through his hair.

“Hey.” Even presses a kiss to his overheated forehead, his thumb running over Isak’s cheek. Isak’s eyes are closed but he can feel Even’s intense eyes, running over his sweaty face, taking in his flushed cheeks and chapped lips.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be much fun today. I’m…sick.” Isak says delicately. It’s one thing for Even to know about him, to tolerate it. It’s another to actually see what it does to Isak’s body.

Even doesn’t seem to get the hint, he just lies down, pulling Isak to his chest and running his fingers down his back.

“I don’t mind. It’s just another excuse to hold you all day.” Even is teasing but Isak wishes he would. His broad chest against Isak’s cheek is warm and makes the burning in his stomach hurt a little less. “Do you want soup or tea?”

“Soup-", Isak stops, unable to hold back a whimper when a ripple of pain runs through him.

Even immediately sits up, worried. He’s seen Isak sick before and he’s definitely never moaned from pain.

“Baby, does is it hurt that bad? Is it here?”, Even’s hands press into Isak’s chest and then his stomach which makes his entire body ache.

“It’s fine, It happens all the time-“

“It’s not fine, If you’re crying out from the pain you need to go to the doctor-“

“Well it’s normal for me alright!?”

“Oh.” Even deflates. Isak can see the realization on his face and he wants to die.

“Can you please just go-“, he tries to stop a sob from coming out but can’t. “I never wanted you to see this.”

He scrunches his eyes shut, crying silently, holding onto Even’s shirt while also wanting him to leave so he can stew in his shame alone.

There’s a long pause before Even curls around him. His hands wrapping around Isak’s face, before he presses a soft kiss to Isak’s lips, wet from tears.

“There isn’t any part of you that I wouldn’t want to see.” Even says and Isak feels so loved he can hardly breathe.

“I can’t fix this with soup but I can listen. How are you feeling?”

Isak looks down, conscious of the few tears escaping the corners of his eyes. Even just hums, wiping them away with his thumbs and staring down at Isak. He’s always been patient.

“I feel like shit. Whenever this happens my stomach feels like it’s on fire.”, his abdomen lurches at his words and he reaches down instinctively to hold it. Even beats him to the punch, catching his hand and instead resting his own hand there, rubbing circles into his churning stomach. Isak sighs at the contact, leaning in.

“Does that feel good?”

Isak nods shyly at the attention. Even’s hands are more insistent now, rubbing circles into the exposed skin. He enjoys Even’s touch for a few moments until he remembers why he’s so miserable.

“The guys wanted me to go swimming with them.”, Isak says quietly. “Usually I can get away with a T-shirt but when I’m like this my-” Breasts. “…chest swells a lot. And it hurts to be in the water.” He breathes sharply, the memory making his eyes burn with more embarrassing tears.

God, he’s such a _girl_.

“I just got so angry. They didn’t know it was that time of the month, I know. But I was pissed off so I said no.”, Isak gives himself a second to breathe. He’s not going to cry again. “Magnus made a joke-it’s not a big deal-but he told me to stop PMS-ing and I just…couldn’t be there anymore.”

The entire ordeal had been humiliating. Besides Even and his parents, Jonas is the only one who knows. Jonas looking at him, all knowing and sympathetic, made Isak want to cover himself. He knows Jonas means well, he does. But sometimes he jumps to Isak’s defence from a crude joke or offers to help him carry something and Isak can’t help but worry that deep down, Jonas thinks he’s a girl.

The sob he’s been trying to hold in comes out. The tears feel hot and shameful. “I hate being like this. I hate that you have to deal with it. I hate it. My body is wrong and sometimes…I just wish it would stop. I just want it to stop, Even.”

Isak feels like he’s going to shake out his body as he cries and trembles on Even’s chest. Even’s hold has gone rigid, his hands on Isak’s neck and hips like a brace when he realizes what Isak meant by wanting things to stop.

Even groans sadly before kissing him hard, like his kiss can keep Isak grounded here with him. “You’re perfect Issy. So perfect.”, he peppers Isak’s face with kisses. His pink cheek, his small nose, and his wet mouth. “How could there be anything wrong about you?” Even’s soothing touch turns adoring as he runs his hands up to the small of Isak’s waist, cupping the slight curve there that he hates so much. “I love everything about you. Everything. I don’t ‘deal’ with anything, do you hear me?” Even looks almost angry as he stares into Isak’s eyes, unwavering. Isak nods mutely, taken aback at his conviction. His own insecurity feels like acid in his chest as he considers the facts.

Even is bisexual. He likes guys and girls. Not boys with the parts of girls. He’d just gotten stuck with Isak because Isak hadn’t been able to tell him until that night in his bedroom. Isak knows Even loves him, he knows. He just can’t believe that Even could love this body too.

Even must see something in his eyes because he rolls over, pinning Isak under his mass so he can’t look away. “Let me make it better. This is my fault.” When Isak gives him a confused look Even continues, “You seriously think I don’t think you’re beautiful? Every part of you?”, he looks indignant as he says it and It makes Isak blush. Even lets out a groan of frustration at that, his fingers cupping Isak’s cheek as he kisses him roughly. Isak whimpers into the kiss when Even slips him some tongue, forcing Isak to open up. His eyes feel hazy and wet when Even pulls back to rest his forehead against his and just breathe into his mouth.

“You’re so fucking hot Isak. The fact that you don’t know that is on me.”, he sounds so offended that Isak almost laughs until he fixes his intense stare on him. “Will you let me make it better?”

“Okay?” Isak says shyly, confused with where this is going. He narrowly holds back a squeak when Even parts his legs, forcing him to wrap them around his waist.

Isak’s entire body feels like a live wire as Even runs his hands down to his stomach, peeling off his sweat stained T-shirt and exposing his chest. He’s still wearing his binder, even when he’s in pain because it feels better than leaving his breasts exposed. Isak can’t help but flinch when Even unclips the back, pulling the gauze off him gently.

Even presses kisses to his neck, hushing him as he trembles. For a second he just stares. It makes Isak want to cover himself, so Even won’t have to look but then he cups Isak, his finger gently rolling his nipples between his fingers. “You’re so pretty baby.” When Even pulls one into his mouth Isak sucks in his breathe sharply. “You’re such a pretty boy.”, he whines at that, his hands reaching up to grip Even by the hair. He takes his time, nipping at Isak until he’s puffy and pink before he stops and presses a kiss to his heart. The tender action makes Isak shiver because god, this boy loves him.

Even eventually moves lower, pulling off Isak’s sweatpants to expose his legs and the blue panties he only wears during his time of the month. His hands run down Isak’s hips, the curve is more pronounced now, usually hidden under too big sweatpants and loose sweaters.

When Even cups his mound through his panties, Isak moans, his legs parting. Even takes that as encouragement as he thumbs Isak’s clit through the fabric. He tries not to whimper at that but from Even’s smug smile, he notices.

“Can I?”

Isak almost says no until he sees Even’s earnest eyes staring at him.

“Yes, but first-“, Kiss me, Isak wants to say, but Even is already there, pressing his lips and then his tongue into Isak’s mouth. The weight of him pressing Isak to the bed makes Isak feel safe, like Even can’t hurt Isak because Even is here. It’s an oxymoron but that’s what Even is. Isak’s safe place and his greatest fear.

Isak lets out a yelp when Even pulls his legs over his shoulders so his head is right between his legs. He can feel his sex quiver when Even’s moist breath touches his inner thighs.

Isak can’t help but let out a sharp intake of breath, when Even pulls away his panties, exposing him. This is it, the moment where Even remembers that Isak’s body isn’t right and leaves. He’s about to close his eyes so he doesn’t have to watch when Even’s thumb touches his sex, slowly parting the folds so he can stare at his pink cunt.

“Jesus, Isak.”, Even says throatily. His voice has gone deep, the way that it only does when he’s fucking Isak. It makes slick gather between his legs. He moans, trying to close his legs, to hide, when Even’s hand stops him, pulling his legs further apart.

“Don’t.” he says, his eyes still firmly on Isak as he circles his clit with his thumb. “Just let me-”, Isak lets out a wail when Even slides a finger in, curling it inwards. Even lets out a shaky breath at that before sliding in another one without preamble.

“You take it so well.”, Isak can feel Even’s fingers press deeper, spreading him for Even’s eyes. “You’re such a good boy Isak.”, and before Isak can speak Even is pumping his fingers inside him, steady and relentless. All Isak can hear are his own whines and the repetitive sound of Even’s fingers fucking through his slick and into him. It’s obscene.

“You’re soaked baby. Is this just for me?”

Isak can’t stop himself from nodding frantically, only able to make small whining noises every time Even fucks into him. When Even presses his thumb to his clit, Isak sees white.

When he comes back to himself Even is pressing kisses to his inner thighs, his eyes still on Isak’s cunt. He’s not doing anything, just parting the folds with his thumb. His fingers are so gentle and indulgent; it makes Isak feel more exposed than he did when Even was literally inside him.

He finally thinks he might be able to breathe again when Even abruptly moves and gives him the filthiest kiss _down there_. He lets out a squeal and his hips would have lifted off the bed if Even weren’t pinning them down firmly, making him take it.

“Fuck Isak, you’re so sweet.” Even moans into his cunt and the hum of the words inside him makes him cry out, real tears running down his cheeks.

“Even, Even, _Even-_ ”

He sucks hard at Isak’s clit at that, his tongue laving at Isak until he’s sopping.

“Come for me again.” He mumbles and then he curls one long finger inside him and presses his tongue in beside it.

The pleasure hits him in waves as his entire body trembles under Even’s mouth. He still doesn’t stop until Isak has gone limp, until he’s just a drained sleepy thing.

Isak can feel his sex twitching with aftershocks and he moans when Even soothes him there, pressing small pecks to his clit and then his hip before pulling back.

Even lets his head rest on Isak’s thigh for a moment, catching his breathe, before he slides up Isak’s body, looming over him.

He looks a little gross honestly, with Isak’s slick and blood on his face, but Isak can’t help but lean up and gingerly kiss a clean spot on his cheek anyways. When Even smiles back at him Isak laughs, pushing him away.

“I made you laugh.” Even says, looking stupidly proud of himself.

“You also made me come twice. You accomplished a lot today.” Isak says in mock seriousness.

“I made you feel good.” Even says smugly. “I told you I could.”

“You always make me feel good.” Isak says, softer now.

Even hums, leaning in for a kiss before Isak stops him. “First, go brush your teeth. Then we can kiss.”

Even rolls his eyes but gets up anyways, heading for the bathroom. Isak lays there and he can feel the cool air on his chest, his legs, in between his legs. But for the first time in awhile he doesn’t feel exposed. It doesn’t make any sense considering he’d just been ‘exposed’ in the most explicit sense of the word.

When Even comes back, he lies beside Isak his fingers trailing through his hair, combing the curls back. Isak suddenly feels very fragile, with Even looking at him like he’s something precious.

After a moment he asks, “Are you feeling better?”

Isak smiles, “Yeah. A lot better.”, and he’s not lying. The cramps have mostly stopped and the worst pain, his own self loathing has cooled. Because even if his Mom thinks he’s wrong, or Jonas thinks he’s a girl, Even thinks he’s a perfectly good boy, just like this.

“Thank you.” Isak mumbles, because Even stayed.

When he leans in, brushing their noses together, Isak’s eyes flutter shut. “Trust me, loving on you isn’t hard.” he whispers before kissing him gently.

For once, Isak believes him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know people don't tend to comment on really explicit work but feel free to leave a kudos (or a comment) if you're comfortable.


End file.
